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Limericks

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

COLLEEN KANE: Hi, this is Colleen from Clinton, N.Y.

SAGAL: Hello, Colleen from Clinton, N.Y. How are you?

KANE: I'm fine, thanks.

SAGAL: All right. And what do you do there?

KANE: I am a law clerk for a Supreme Court judge.

SAGAL: Oh, really? A New York Supreme Court judge?

KANE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Wow, that's exciting. Does the New York Supreme Court handle important issues of great state I guess importance?

KANE: We handle pretty much everything but criminal law. So we could have a divorce one day and a dog bite case the next.

SAGAL: Wait a minute.

FAITH SAILIE: At the Supreme Court level?

SAGAL: The state Supreme Court of New York is handling dog bites?

KANE: Oh, yeah. We've had many dog bite cases.

SAGAL: Do you ever hope that you'll get a man-bites-dog case?

KANE: I wouldn't be surprised if we did.

SAGAL: All right. It's New York. Who knows?

KANE: That's right.

SAGAL: Colleen, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is now going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase, correctly, in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. You ready to play?

KANE: Yeah.

SAGAL: All right. Here's your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: These are Crocs I am sure I'll look sick in. And just wait till the fried scent will kick in. It's the KFC stripes but without handy wipes. It's like wearing a bucket of...

KANE: Chicken?

KURTIS: Yes.

SAGAL: Very good, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Very good.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Hungry foot fetishists, rejoice. There's a new Croc that looks and smells like a bucket of fried chicken.

SAILIE: (Laughter).

SAGAL: The Croc was made in response to an increased demand from people who are just tired of being forced to wear empty chicken buckets of shoes for that just-fried feel.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's groundbreaking technology. It's the first time you can have congestive heart failure in your feet.

(LAUGHTER)

MO ROCCA: So toe-looking good.

SAGAL: Yeah, exactly, yeah.

Colleen, here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Some daytime shows make this nudge broody, but one host performed unsmudged duty. She calls what she sees and won't tolerate please, yet they're putting an end to...

KANE: "Judge Judy."

SAGAL: Yes, "Judge Judy."

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: You've got it.

SAGAL: After 25 seasons of forcing deadbeat roommates to pay for that yogurt they took without asking, Judge Judy is leaving the bench. But she's not retiring, completely. She's launching a new show called "Judy Justice," where she travels the country, administering swift no-nonsense judgments. You're too old for those skinny jeans. Did you know this? Judge Judy is the highest-paid personality on TV. She makes $47 million a year. It's true, which to put in context would - means it would take her 11 years to pay for Mike Bloomberg's presidential campaign.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I have interviewed her. She is lovely. She is really great. I just wanted to point that out.

SAILIE: If you made $47 million a year, wouldn't you be lovely, too?

ROCCA: She hasn't flown commercial in about two decades...

SAGAL: Yes, I can imagine.

ROCCA: ...She's missing out on sweet great aunts.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, here - Colleen, here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: For this face paint and garish bright rayon, I hope you don't have the wrong day mom. This costume is slick. I'm a wax color stick. But you sent me to school as a...

KANE: Crayon.

KURTIS: Yes, it is.

SAGAL: Crayon, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A British mom created adorable crayon costumes for her two young children and sent them off to school for crayon day. They were so cute. One was the red crayon with a red smock and his face painted red in a red pointy cap. The other one was the same, but yellow. And it turns out, it wasn't crayon day.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In fact, Crayon Day is next month. The kids handle this with the maturity and calm you'd expect of 9 year olds. It's weird Crayon Day is not like just another obscure British holiday, Guy Fawkes or their cinco de spotted dick. It's part...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's part of the school's upcoming Spirit Week. The mom told the Daily Mirror, quote, "my kids came home and went mad at me saying I had got the wrong day and they looked like absolute Wally's."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Colleen do?

KURTIS: Colleen was just supreme. Three votes correct.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Colleen.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Colleen, thank you so much. Take care.

KANE: Thanks so much.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "COLORS")

ICE T: (Rapping) Colors, colors, colors, colors, colors, colors, colors, colors, colors, colors, colors. I am a nightmare walking, psychopath... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.