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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Sure can. Amy has two. Demi has three. And Alonzo has three.

SAGAL: OK, Amy. That means you're up first. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, blank cases in the U.S. surpassed 3.5 million.

AMY DICKINSON: COVID.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, former attorney general blank lost his GOP Senate runoff in Alabama.

DICKINSON: Oh, Jeff Sessions.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the governor of Georgia banned local governments from requiring residents to wear blanks.

DICKINSON: Masks.

SAGAL: Yes, 'cause that makes sense.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the family of blank filed a civil suit against the city of Minneapolis.

DICKINSON: George Floyd.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: San Francisco has introduced a new ordinance to ban racist 911 calls called the blank act.

DICKINSON: CAREN.

SAGAL: Yes, the CAREN Act.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, rapper blank denied reports that he had suspended his presidential campaign.

DICKINSON: Kanye.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Washington, D.C.'s blank team announced their decision to retire their name and logo.

DICKINSON: Their football team.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a family in England was surprised when they...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Uncovered a secret hole in their house and discovered it was filled with blank.

DICKINSON: Unexploded World War II munitions.

SAGAL: That's what you might expect. But in a big surprise, the secret hole was filled with all the toiletries they'd lost over the last 40 years. The family was excited to find a hole in the back of their medicine cabinet in their bathroom, and they were thrilled to find that it was filled with Gold Bond medicated powder from 1986. It was basically a time capsule filled with all the lotion and salves they had lost over the years, like if Lucy went through the wardrobe, and instead of Narnia, she ended up in the eczema aisle at Walgreens.

DICKINSON: (Laughter) OK.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Amy do?

KURTIS: Amy had seven right for 14 more points. She now has 16, and that's the lead.

SAGAL: All right. I'm going to arbitrarily choose Demi to go next. Here we go, Demi.

DEMI ADEJUYIGBE: Hello.

SAGAL: You're up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, ICE rescinded their plans to strip international students of their blanks.

ADEJUYIGBE: Visas.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to health officials, Miami, Fla., has now become a blank epicenter.

ADEJUYIGBE: COVID.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, the city council of Asheville, N.C., approved a resolution to offer Black residents blank.

ADEJUYIGBE: Reparations.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new study, adoption rates of Great Danes have dropped significantly because people no longer blank.

ADEJUYIGBE: Watch "Scooby-Doo"?

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

DICKINSON: (Laughter).

SAGAL: This week, Walmart announced it would require all customers to blank.

ADEJUYIGBE: Wear masks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new report, 1.3 million people filed blank claims last week.

ADEJUYIGBE: Unemployment.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following a week in isolation...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After testing positive for COVID, Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro went for a walk outside and was promptly blanked.

ADEJUYIGBE: Attacked?

SAGAL: No, he was bitten by an emu.

DICKINSON: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Jair Bolsonaro, the man who really puts the dick in dictator, emerged from isolation for a walk around his estate while trying to feed a pack of emus. I guess he has a pack of emus. One of the giant birds took a bite out of his hand. Bolsonaro said, he's fine, while the emu will never ever stop brushing its teeth.

ADEJUYIGBE: Those damn antifa emus.

SAGAL: I know. Bill, how did Demi do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Demi had six right for 12 more points. He now has 15 points, but Amy still has the lead with 16.

SAGAL: All right. So how many, then, does Alonzo need to win?

KURTIS: Alonzo needs seven to win.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. That's a lot.

ALONZO BODDEN: Congratulations, Amy.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Alonzo. This is for the game. On Tuesday, Joe Biden unveiled a $2 trillion plan to combat blank.

BODDEN: Coronavirus?

SAGAL: No, climate change. On Wednesday, the president's lawyers resumed efforts to block access to his blank.

BODDEN: Tax returns.

SAGAL: Right, financial records.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Governor Kevin Stitt of blank became the nation's first governor to test positive for coronavirus.

BODDEN: Oklahoma?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, police raided a giant quarantine-breaking party in Melbourne after being tipped off that someone had blanked.

BODDEN: Got sick?

SAGAL: No, placed a delivery order for 20 people at a local KFC. On Tuesday, Ghislaine Maxwell, a very close associate of blank, was denied bail for her upcoming trial.

BODDEN: Oh, Epstein.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An Ontario man says he'll do a better job cleaning up the kitchen...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...After security cameras caught blank eating his leftovers.

BODDEN: Mice.

SAGAL: No, a giant bear eating his old pizza. The man's security footage showed the bear opening his unlocked front door, strolling into the house, knocking three pizza boxes off the counter and then just enjoying himself. When the bear is done, he turns around and calmly walks out the front door. The man says that he'll be locking the door from now on, and this is the last time he orders fresh salmon and honey pizza.

DICKINSON: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Bill, did Alonzo do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, he had three right for six more points. He now has nine. That means Amy with 16 points is this week's champion.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: Yay.

ADEJUYIGBE: Congratulations.

BODDEN: Do I get a point for predicting Amy was going to win this?

KURTIS: Half a point.

(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.