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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer's now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Mo has three points. Maeve has two, and Alonzo has two.

SAGAL: All right. Since nothing matters anymore, I'm going to arbitrarily choose Alonzo to go first. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, Category 4 Hurricane blank made landfall in Louisiana.

ALONZO BODDEN: Laura.

SAGAL: Laura, yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the FDA gave emergency approval for a cheap blank test.

BODDEN: COVID.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In addition to post office delays, voter ID laws and intimidation at polling sites, Election Day is also being threatened by blank.

BODDEN: Police or law enforcement at the polls? Is that...

SAGAL: No, that was the intimidation. It's also going to be threatened by an asteroid that might be on a collision course with Earth.

BODDEN: Why not? Why not?

SAGAL: Why not? After decades of work from doctors and immunologists, Africa has finally been declared free of blank.

BODDEN: Ebola.

SAGAL: No, polio.

BODDEN: Can we start this over? I don't know what news I've been watching. I've got nothing here.

MO ROCCA: There should be an LA handicap.

SAGAL: That's true.

MAEVE HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Citing the weather, a blank launch in Florida was delayed for the weekend.

BODDEN: A rocket.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After years of research...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Scientists have confirmed that blanking cows will help protect them from predators.

BODDEN: Milking?

SAGAL: No. Painting eyes on their butts protects them from predators.

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Livestock in Africa are constantly under threat from hungry lions. Scientists say painting eyes on cows' rear ends make predators think they've been spotted, halting the attack. And if you really want to confuse the lions, researchers say to make sure that one of the eyes is winking. Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Alonzo had three right for six more points. He now has - and enjoy it - eight points and the lead, Alonzo.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: There you go.

BODDEN: That was horrible.

SAGAL: No, it wasn't horrible. Maeve, you're up next. Please fill in the blank.

HIGGINS: And I feel like I've got a chance 'cause, Alonzo, you really did badly.

SAGAL: Yeah, you're going to do great, Maeve. I can tell.

KURTIS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: I can tell. You're going to turn it all around. Here we go, Maeve. In protest to police shootings, blank boycotted their playoff game against the Orlando Magic.

HIGGINS: The Wizards?

SAGAL: No, it was the Milwaukee Bucks. On Thursday, experts warned that standing blank feet apart may not be enough to protect against coronavirus.

HIGGINS: And you know that in Europe, we use meters.

SAGAL: Yes, Maeve.

HIGGINS: So I will say 2.3 meters.

SAGAL: Which is?

HIGGINS: Around - I think it's, like, you double it and you take away 0.6.

SAGAL: OK. Fine, I'll give it to you. I assume that's the equivalent of six feet apart.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, senior adviser blank announced she was leaving the White House, spending - to spend more time fighting with her family.

HIGGINS: Kellyanne.

SAGAL: Good enough - Kellyanne Conway.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Farmers in a Japanese town worried about monkeys eating their crops are turning to blank for protection.

HIGGINS: Oh, the eyes - putting eyes on their cows?

SAGAL: No, they're turning to three gun-toting grandmas called monkey busters. Last week, the U.S. added an additional 1 million blank claims in line with expectations.

HIGGINS: Marriage proposals.

SAGAL: No, jobless claims. Thanks to a mistake at the bakery...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A wedding cake for Mr. and Mrs. Wiser that was supposed to say Wiser Wedding instead said blank.

HIGGINS: Miser Wedding.

SAGAL: Instead, it said, why is there a wedding?

HIGGINS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: The couple was hoping to save a bit of money on their wedding cake but immediately regretted the choice when their planner sent them a picture of what the baker had made - a beautiful white cake with the phrase why is there a wedding written in green icing. The couple was obviously disappointed but not nearly as much as the best man, who just lost the opening line of his wedding toast. Bill, how did Maeve do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, you had two right for four more points, and you now have six points.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

KURTIS: But you spoke too soon. With eight points, Alonzo still has the lead.

BODDEN: Thank you, Maeve.

SAGAL: And how many, then, does Mo need to win?

BODDEN: None.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Mo only needs three.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh, Mo. This is for the game. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Monday, a judge ruled that an order forcing blanks to reopen in Florida was unconstitutional.

ROCCA: Schools.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the U.N. Security Council rejected the White House's call for sanctions against blank.

ROCCA: China.

SAGAL: Iran. This week, Moderna Corporation said early testing of their blank showed promise among the elderly.

ROCCA: Vaccine.

SAGAL: Right, coronavirus.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the U.S. postmaster said that cost-cutting measures at the USPS would not affect the blank.

ROCCA: The election.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Acting on a tip, police in California were able to arrest a man trying to sell $300,000 worth of black market blanks.

ROCCA: Avocados.

SAGAL: Black market pistachios. According to the Commerce Department, sales of new blanks jumped 13% in July.

ROCCA: New homes.

SAGAL: New homes, right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Lori Loughlin was sentenced to two months for her part in the blank scandal.

ROCCA: In the whole thing with the college, the entrance - the thing.

SAGAL: Yeah, the college admissions scandal.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: You worked your way to it. Emergency workers in Nashville...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Had to be called into rescue country star Kane Brown after he got lost in blank.

ROCCA: Oh, in the Opryland Hotel, which is rather vast.

SAGAL: No, in his own backyard, Mo. The singer had just moved into a new house and decided to explore his multiacre backyard with his friends. It wasn't until 30 minutes later they realized they were lost and needed help. Fortunately, emergency workers were able to guide the group back to Brown's house. And the ordeal inspired Brown's new hit, "I Walk The Line But I Really Should Have Used Google Maps."

Bill, I expect that Mo did well enough to win. Did he?

KURTIS: Well, he got five right for 10 more points, which means, with 13, he did win. He's the champ.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: Yay, Mo. Congratulations.

ROCCA: I feel like - I don't know. This wasn't too tough, this one. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.