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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Helen Hong, Roy Blunt Jr. and Luke Burbank. And here, again, is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody...
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SAGAL: In just a minute, at Captain Kirk's request, Bill obeys the rhyme directive in our Listener Limerick Challenge...
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SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, it is time for a game that we're calling...
KURTIS: English to English translation.
SAGAL: English...
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SAGAL: ...We know, is not the same everywhere. We're going to read you a headline from an English-language newspaper or website somewhere in the world. Your job is to translate it into American English, and you get a point. All right? Now, there's no hints, just your best guess as fast as you can. Here we go. Roy, you're up first. This is from a paper in Australia.
KURTIS: Victorian Man Attacked By Roo Manages To Save His Stubby.
SAGAL: What does that mean?
ROY BLOUNT JR: Attacked by a kangaroo, manages to...
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BLOUNT JR: Manages to save his sausage.
SAGAL: No. Actually...
LUKE BURBANK: That was the second injury at the golf course.
SAGAL: Yeah, I know...
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SAGAL: He managed to save his beer. Apparently, a stubby is beer...
BLOUNT JR: Oh, OK.
HELEN HONG: Oh.
SAGAL: Helen, this one's for you, from The Guardian newspaper in the U.K.
KURTIS: "Zebras Get The Hump."
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HONG: Zebras at the zoo were caught mating?
SAGAL: No, that's from an article about how some crosswalks, which they call zebra stripes, were being renovated with speed bumps to protect...
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HONG: Oh.
SAGAL: ...Pedestrians.
HONG: Wow. That's so convoluted, but OK.
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SAGAL: Luke, here's one from Britain's Sunday Sport newspaper.
KURTIS: Greggs Pasty Boiled My Bell-end.
SAGAL: What does that mean?
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HONG: Wow.
BURBANK: Greggs Pasty Boiled My Bell-end.
SAGAL: Yes.
BURBANK: Somebody made a breakfast roll and threw it at someone else's backside at Windsor Castle.
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SAGAL: Most things happen at Windsor Castle, so it's a good - no. Greggs Pasty Boiled My Bell-end means a man bought a pastry - a pasty - from the restaurant chain Greggs, tried to have sex with it, and it burned his bell-end.
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HONG: (Laughter).
BURBANK: At Windsor Castle.
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SAGAL: Roy, one more for you. This is from New Zealand.
KURTIS: Chuffed To Have Spuds Chosen.
SAGAL: What does that mean?
BLOUNT JR: Well, this was a - obviously, a potato grower whose potatoes were judged to be the finest potatoes...
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BLOUNT JR: ...In all of New Zealand.
SAGAL: You're correct.
BLOUNT JR: Oh.
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HONG: No.
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SAGAL: So fine were this man's potatoes that they were chosen to serve to Harry and Meghan when they tour the country. Very good.
HONG: At Windsor Castle.
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BURBANK: Yup, 100 percent.
SAGAL: All right, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Helen, many parents are complaining about one of 2018's must-have holiday toys. It's a stuffed animal that moves by itself. All your kids have to do to make it go faster is - what?
HONG: Can I have a hint, please...
SAGAL: Yeah, it's sort of the opposite of that thing that most parents do, the quiet game.
HONG: Oh, you've got to scream at it?
SAGAL: Yes.
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SAGAL: The...
HONG: What?
SAGAL: ...Louder you yell at this toy, the faster it goes.
HONG: What?
SAGAL: These toys are called Yellies. They're little plush creatures. And, yes, it says - the slogan on the box - the louder you yell, the faster they go. It might be the worst idea in toys since Mattel's teddy bear that withholds love once you get potty-trained.
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BLOUNT JR: Ooh, there's a sign in the window of a veterinarian in New Orleans that says unaccompanied children will be given a free puppy and a cup of coffee.
SAGAL: Yes.
(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.