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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Dulce has two. Peter has two. And Jessi has four.

SAGAL: All right. Dulce and Peter are tied. So Dulce, you're new here. We'll let you go first. Fill in the blank. While delaying a permanent name change, the Washington football team announced they would be temporarily known as blank.

DULCE SLOAN: Washington Football Team.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, California surpassed blank as the state with the most COVID cases.

SLOAN: New York.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: To solve a dispute over their property line, a man in Maine blanked his neighbors garage.

SLOAN: Cut it in half.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, electric car maker blank showed a profit for its fourth straight quarter.

SLOAN: Tesla?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, blank threw out the first pitch to open the 2020 baseball season.

SLOAN: I don't know.

SAGAL: Dr. Fauci - and it was a terrible pitch. This week, a student at the University of Georgia...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Was given a second chance to take an online exam after a falling blank ended her first one early.

SLOAN: A falling ceiling tile.

SAGAL: No, it was a falling meatball from the sub she was eating that landed on her keyboard.

SLOAN: She lying.

SAGAL: The student says she had barely started her econ exam when the meatball rolled out from the sub she was eating, landed on her keyboard and submitted the test early. In a panic, she wrote an email to her professor. She explained that the 39% score in the exam was the fault of the meatball. The professor agreed to give her a second chance and told the meatball he'd see it in summer school.

SLOAN: Lies.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Dulce do on our quiz? I think she did really well.

KURTIS: Very, very well. She got four right for eight more points. And she now has 10.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Peter, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, President Trump signed a memorandum aimed at excluding undocumented immigrants from the blank.

PETER GROSZ: From the United States of America.

SLOAN: (Laughter).

SAGAL: No, the census this time. On Thursday, a judge ordered that former Trump lawyer blank be released back into home confinement.

GROSZ: Oh, Michael Cohen.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the House voted to remove Confederate blanks from the Capitol.

GROSZ: Statues.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Vice President Biden unveiled a $775 billion plan to provide the blank programs for parents and the elderly.

GROSZ: Health programs or...

SAGAL: I'll give it to you - caregiving. Yeah.

GROSZ: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a man's attempt to fake his own death to avoid going to court was foiled when he blanked.

GROSZ: Actually died.

SAGAL: No, made a typo on his forged death certificate. After his campaign rally on Monday, Kim Kardashian released a statement addressing her husband blank's mental health.

GROSZ: Kanye.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, AMC, the world's largest blank chain, once again delayed their reopening.

GROSZ: Movie theaters.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a photo...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Of a couple wearing masks on an airplane went viral because they were also blanking.

GROSZ: Joining the mile high club.

SAGAL: Yes. They were making out.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In the photo, the woman is leaning into the man's seat. And he has his arms around her waist while his masked face is pressed really hard against hers. Other passengers were shocked and confused by the sight. But it's pretty clear the couple just wanted to join the mile why club. Bill, how did Peter do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He did very well. He got six right for 12 more points. He now has - let me calculate. He has 14 and the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Very well done. And how many, then, does Jessi Klein need to win?

KURTIS: Well, she needs five to tie and six to win outright.

SAGAL: All right, Jessi. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the White House agreed to a $2 billion deal with Pfizer for 100 million doses of an eventual blank.

JESSI KLEIN: Vaccine.

SAGAL: Right, for COVID.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to the treasury secretary, payroll tax cuts won't be a part of the next blank.

KLEIN: Stimulus package.

SAGAL: Yeah, coronavirus relief bill.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the mayor of Washington, D.C., announced that blanks will be mandatory when outside your home.

KLEIN: Masks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new study, only 8% of Americans agree that blank should reopen in the fall.

KLEIN: School.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Plans to open a floating hotel in Wales are now on hold after blank.

KLEIN: Volcano sharks.

SAGAL: After the hotel sank.

KLEIN: Oh.

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Twitter said that it had banned 7,000 accounts associated with a blank conspiracy theory.

KLEIN: QAnon.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, photographers captured a picture of blank being struck by four bolts of lightning.

KLEIN: The Statue of Liberty.

SAGAL: Yes. God has a message.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After accidentally damaging a sculpture, a family in China...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Regretted their decision to let their kids play a game of tag in blank.

KLEIN: A museum.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Specifically, the Shanghai Museum of Glass.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: Wow.

SAGAL: That's right. Last week, someone in Shanghai said, lockdown has left the kids with so much energy to burn off. I know - let's go to the glass museum. And it went about as well as you could expect. Two of the kids bumped into a stand holding a $60,000 replica of Cinderella's castle, causing it to fall to the ground. The museum has yet to share the extent of the damage but is inviting guests to come view their new exhibit, Cinderella's favorite glass shards. Bill, did Jessi do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Jessi has a big score - seven right for 14 more points. She now has 18 points. She wins.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Jessi.

KLEIN: Oh, yeah. I needed this one. Yay.

(SOUNDBITE OF AIR HORN)

GROSZ: Nice work.

SAGAL: Yay. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.