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Limericks

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. Or you can click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. Also, the Wait Wait Live Virtual Comedy Club with Maz Jobrani, Maeve Higgins, Joel Kim Booster, Mo Rocca and Helen Hong is coming up on March 2. Tickets and info at NPR Presents.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

TAITE PIERSON: Hi. This is Taite Pierson calling from Somerville, Mass.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in beautiful Somerville?

PIERSON: They've been really sunny these past few days, which is very odd, but we've been enjoying that.

SAGAL: What do you do there?

PIERSON: I am a student at Tufts University.

SAGAL: Tufts University.

PIERSON: Yes.

ADAM FELBER: That's my alma mater.

PIERSON: No way. Go 'Bos.

FELBER: I lived in Somerville for years. This is Adam Felber. (Imitating Boston accent) Do you live near Windsor Hill?

PIERSON: (Imitating Boston accent) A little far from Windsor Hill, but Somerville's great.

SAGAL: Oh, yeah.

FELBER: I heard they closed down Johnny D's.

PIERSON: I've never heard of it, so I imagine they have.

DULCE SLOAN: Not Johnny D's.

SAGAL: Oh, man.

SLOAN: Oh, damn.

FELBER: The Somerville Theatre is still there, and that's all that counts.

PIERSON: Yes, it is.

SAGAL: Taite, welcome to the show.

PIERSON: Thanks.

SAGAL: Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. And we should warn you, this week's Limerick game is a complete nerd-fest.

PIERSON: (Laughter) OK.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: So the word's root is Greek, you are telling me. Shut up, dad. You don't help with your yelling, see? I'm competing from home, but I can't check my phone. I remotely compete in the...

PIERSON: Spelling bee.

SAGAL: Yes...

KURTIS: Nice.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: We can all watch tiny nerds be terrified again this year because the National Spelling Bee is back. Other than the final round, of course, the entire event will be held virtually, so they'll all be on their computers. So in addition to the contestants asking, can you use it in a sentence, they'll be asking, and what search terms might you use to Google it?

The 12 finalists will still compete in person as per tradition for the championship round, and they'll be on the ESPN campus in Disney World where they had the NBA bubble. And spelling nerds will be living just like NBA stars. I wonder if they're going to sneak out to the same strip clubs.

FELBER: (Laughter).

SAGAL: OK, Taite, here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Until this darn COVID thing passes, this here tip might just help out the masses. Though everyone tries to not touch or rub eyes, it'll help if you put on some...

PIERSON: Glasses.

SAGAL: Glasses, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Nerds don't need a vaccine. That's because it turns out people who wear glasses are three times less likely to get COVID. So move over, Johnson & Johnson. We've got Warby and Parker.

Apparently, this works because glasses wearers don't touch their upper face or eyes as much because they've got glasses on. Instead, they do that annoying thing where they're pushing their glasses up on their noses all the time. We get it. You're smart. It's also because people who wear glasses, of course, are dorks, so they're less likely to be invited to the cool inside parties.

MO ROCCA: That's kind of what I thought was the reason that...

SAGAL: Really?

ROCCA: ...Not a...

FELBER: Wow.

ROCCA: ...Random sampling of people wearing glasses.

SAGAL: Yeah. Oh, wow. Let's not invite four eyes over there to our super-spreader event, OK? He's not cool enough.

FELBER: (Laughter) Is this pandemic happening inside an '80s teen comedy?

SAGAL: (Laughter).

ROCCA: You know, what it really is, though - it's the tape you put on the bridge of the glasses.

SAGAL: That's what does it. And the pocket protectors protect your lungs, of course, so it all works out.

FELBER: (Laughter).

ROCCA: And if you button the top button of your shirt, you are as good as vaccinated.

FELBER: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: 123456 has no class, nerd. That's too easy to hack, so I last heard. I'm truly concerned that we never will learn because we all have a real simple...

PIERSON: Password.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: Apparently, we are all still bad at choosing passwords. A recent analysis of stolen passwords found for sale on the dark web found that the most common password is 123456. The second-most common password was password. No. 3 was 1234567, for the people who decided stopping at six wasn't complex enough.

ROCCA: Can I tell you, there was a writer at The New York Times, and her name was Jennifer 8. Lee. Like...

SAGAL: Yes.

ROCCA: Her middle name was literally a number. And all I could think was, oh, my God. She would be an amazing password. And I'm sure - and letting everyone out there know, I no longer use Jennifer 8. Lee as my password for anything. But I liked her writing, and I think she's an awesome password.

SAGAL: There are some surprising ones on this list of the most common passwords. No. 14, for example, was lemonfish. So we didn't understand why that would be a common password. We Googled the word lemonfish and found out it's a kind of fish. It's known for its mild taste and its habit of opening bank accounts on the Internet.

(LAUGHTER)

SLOAN: Didn't Elon Musk just name his child a password - with that boring-looking girl?

SAGAL: Yeah, he named it this bizarre agglomeration of letters and characters.

ROCCA: His child's legal name is mother's maiden name.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Taite do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Taite is Tufts strong. She got a perfect score.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Taite.

FELBER: Jumbos.

SLOAN: Hey.

PIERSON: Thank you so much.

SAGAL: Thank you for playing. Bye-bye, Taite.

PIERSON: Have a good one, guys.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "REVENGE OF THE NERDS")

THE RUBINOOS: (Singing) Revenge of the nerds. Who, me? Revenge of the nerds. Revenge of the nerds. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.